we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
