Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
