I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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