...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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