At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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