Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
