It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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