It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
