WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
