you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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