WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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