How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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