My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
