I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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