So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
