Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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