The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
