Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
