Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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