i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
