after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
