used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
