I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
