It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
