There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
