I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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