yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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