she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
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I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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