The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
