we're blogging at a bar
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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