Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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