i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
