when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
