my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
