I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
