i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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