Your tits are I can't wait for
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
