Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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