Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
