thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Shame - the story of my life.
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