The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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