He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
