and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
