You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She tied me up with her honor cords...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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