So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
