somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
