We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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