All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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