Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
