i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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