Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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