Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
