I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We just shotgunned beers for America
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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