She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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