i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
