when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
