Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
